A Start and a Finish
by EwanMcGregorIsMyHomeboy12
Summary: In order for they're to be a whole story, there is a beginning and an end. Spanning from start to finish, Remus and Tonks.
1. Conversation

He ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair, the tips of it just barely grazing the tops of his eyes, a mixture of brown and gray-streaked fluff. The book he was reading was almost as old as the furniture he was sitting on, but he didn't have much of a choice, Sirius was of the opinion that if they tried to move anything out of the house, Kreacher might strangle them all in their sleep. So the furniture, as well as the book, _A Guide to Lycanthropy: Symptoms and Choices, _were here to stay, regardless of their comfort or use. But even more uncomfortable than the couch was the fact that he was not alone in the living room.

Tonks was seated not fifteen feet away, leaning on one arm of a recliner with her legs thrown over the other side, reading an edition of the quibbler that Hermione had left over a month ago during the holidays. He was more than aware that her gaze occasionally flicked over to him, full of curiosity and interest, but she was yet to say anything, which was unusual for her. She had a reputation as the most eccentric and presumably most outspoken member of the order, although she would have to work hard to rival Sirius in that category, even though her outbursts tended to be far more appropriate, and much less insulting.

"This magazine is interesting." It was a statement, and Remus looked over the top of his book to see her flip the magazine over and continue reading it. "Have you ever read it, Remus?"

She looked at him now, smiling a little bit, but it was slightly reserved. "I read Harry's article when it was printed, but beyond that, I can't say I have." He returned the smile in a very Remus manner, only the corner of his lips twitching upwards before his eyes flickered back to his book.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, which made him feel uncomfortably scrutinized by her. "Have you ever heard of a Crumple-Horned Snorkack?" He jerked up to see her looking directly at him.

"I can't say that I have. Has one been spotted?" She let out a little laugh before glancing back at the page.

"It says here that they are more common around rural areas, explaining why there have been no reported sightings." She turned the page. "Here's a picture of one, apparently." She held the magazine up to him, a mix between a toad, a horse, a rabbit, and a gorilla with horns was looking back at him. He couldn't help it, and laughed. "This is an original illustration by 8 year old Jared Michaels, who says this is his favorite creature."

Both of them laughed for a minute before it faded into a distressed silence, finally broken by the arrival of Sirius, fresh out of the shower, his long hair wetting the cushion as he sat down on the couch. "Tonks, Moony. What are you two doing?"

"Reading." Remus answered automatically, pulling his book back up to his face. Tonks did the same with her magazine; the only part of her head visible now was her bright pink shock of hair showing over the top of the magazine.

Sirius looked at her, then back at Remus, then back to his cousin. "Well, you're a fun lot aren't you? I finally get company, and all you do is read." Remus smirked form behind his book as Sirius stretched out on the couch and continued his rant.

"You would think that if you were allowed to visit a man's house whenever you felt like it, the least you could do was talk to him while you were here. But apparently, you all don't think so. No, it's perfectly all right for you to take up furniture space, yet you won't take a few minutes to talk to me while you're here." He waited on a reaction from either one, and upon receiving no gratification, stood up. "I need a drink." He walked to the kitchen slowly, still waiting on a reply, but got none, at least not one that he could hear.

"He's a nutter." Tonks said, putting down her magazine at the same time Remus lowered his book, both of them laughing at the man they could hear singing in the kitchen as he rustled through the whiskey cabinet above the refrigerator.

"Wouldn't you be if you were locked in here all day?" Remus said seriously but smiled a little as one of the lines of "Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love" floated down the hall.

"I would find something to entertain myself, other than drinking all the Fire-whiskey and tormenting house-elves." Remus laughed, but pulled his book back up to his face as Sirius came back into the room, reaching the third chorus of his song. Or rather, Celestina Warbeck's song.

"I would offer the two of you a drink, but you don't really deserve it." He took a long gulp, swallowing half a glass at once. "And I'm running a little low."

He didn't understand at all when both Remus and Tonks burst out laughing.

(A/N) Yeah, that was random. I love this couple, they're my OTP! Hope you enjoyed R and R, make add more, but for now this is a one-shot.


	2. Reminisce

Another week passed before he saw either Tonks or Sirius again, he was on constant patrol for both Dumbledore and a job. Funds were dwindling, he had only about a month's worth of food and rent saved up in the bank, but there were always more important things, at least that would be the way it was until he was homeless and starving when April came around. Voldemort's return was still ranked higher on the list of important things. He had patrol in Hogsmeade with Tonks tonight, which was bound to be interesting judging by how there last encounter had played out.

Other than in passing, they had not spoken before them, and he had not seen her since, so an entire night with nothing to do but talk could either be amazingly awkward or it could be easy, fluid conversation. Only time would tell. He stepped out his place and promptly dissaperated, seeing as there was no one on the streets, and landed a few feet from the Hog's Head, Aberforth barely visible through the window. He walked inside and sat at a back table; waiting for Tonk's to arrive. Although honestly, he wasn't sure what he was looking for.

Her trademark pink hair would defeat the entire purpose of the entire patrol, literally giving their position away to every man, woman child and Death Eater within fifty feet of where they were standing, especially when the entire world was dark brown from all the melted late February snow. He sat in the corner, Aberforth watching him warily, and waited on her to arrive. Fifteen minutes later, someone arrived, an odd looking witch who walked with a limp and had long stringy black hair. She made her way through the bar, looking at all four of the patrons and Aberforth before her eyes rested on Remus in the back, and she started to wobble towards him.

"Wotcher, Remus." She sat down heavily in front on him, and pulling her cloak tightly around her shoulders, changed her appearance back to her real face, but the hair went dirty blonde ad shoulder-length, a change that he knew wasn't natural, seeing as no one in her family looked like that. "Sorry if I worried you, someone from the department was outside and I was worried he might start talking to me."

"That's alright." He rubbed his hands together, rising up and stuffing his hand into the patched pocket that held his wand. "Are you ready to go?"

"Alright. You want something to drink before we go? I'm a bit thirsty." He sat back down as she went over and ordered two Butterbeers before he could protest. Although, it probably wouldn't affect their patrol in the slightest, a Death Eater attack in Hogsmeade when Dumbledore was so close at the castle was about as likely as Remus not turning into a werewolf in six days. Yet leaving it unpatrolled wasn't an option, so here they were.

She came back a few minutes later, setting down his mug in front of him before taking a huge swig form hers. "Aren't you going to drink it Remus?" She said, watching him stare at the mug, his hands on the outside of the mug, letting it warm his fingers that weren't covered by the gloves.

"Yes." He took a gulp of the amber liquid, smiling at her slightly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She drained the last of her mug and sat still, waiting on him to finish. "What have you been up to, Remus? I haven't been around Sirius to ask him."

She asked? He tried to ignore that, but it hung in the front of his brain. "I've been in and out of patrols for Dumbledore, mostly trying to track Greyback, without much luck I'm afraid." He finished his last taste of Butterbeer and grabbed both of their mugs and left them on the counter, following her out the door where she had gone as he returned their glasses. "What about you?"

"The usual. Auror departments pretty quiet now that Moody's busy with the Order and not sending us owls every other day, telling us what we've done wrong." Remus laughed, and the pair of them ducked behind a building, heading towards the outskirts of the village. "He's convinced were all about as useful as a sack of toadstools, to be honest."

"I'm of the opinion that he thinks that about everyone who isn't himself or Dumbledore." Remus remarked, pulling his wand out of his pocket and keeping it covered with his sleeve. Death Eater's weren't the only people who could cause problems.

"Dumbledore's not immune." Tonks said, stepping around a tree and continuing on the path. "The fact that he still has both eyes loses him points with Mad-Eye." They both chuckled slightly before they reached the very outskirts of Hogsmeade and Tonks stopped in the center of the path. Remus did too, but for entirely different reasons.

They had reached the path that led to the Shrieking Shack, and a thousand things flooded his brain. Horrible memories of those first few years where he had changed into a monster, his body changing into its grotesque unnatural form. The pain, the fear, the anger. Then the happier memories, the times he had shared with his friends. With Sirius, James, and Peter so long ago. But these didn't lesson the emotion, they increased the pain. James was dead and Peter was as good as, only Sirius was left, a wanted man who lived alone and could never really go back out in the open, no matter if he was ever bothered to be found truly innocent or not.

"The most haunted building in Britain." Tonks' voice snapped him out of what could have been an incredibly uncomfortable set of flashbacks. "I don't really buy into all that rubbish. What about you Remus?"

"No." He said quietly, and she noticed the change, looking back at him, but not understanding. She opened her mouth to ask the question, but decided against it and instead turned back to the path they had come up and headed back towards the town.

Reus followed behind her; suddenly the patrol didn't seem quite so interesting. He followed behind her, realizing that once again he was having to hide part of his past from another person he was coming to like. Another…friend.

If they ever got that far.

(A/N) So yeah, here is chapter two. I've decided that I'm going to make this a story as long as I think it's going well. By the way, I heard a song that was actually on a RemusxTonks vid. It's called Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional; I suggest you look it up. Read and review.


	3. Celebrate

March had to be Remus' least favorite month of the year. The entire world was set to defrost, and he was tired of having his socks soaked through by the water leaking through the soles of his shoes, an uncomfortable sensation that had already given his toes several blisters. And his birthday was this month, a nagging reminder that he was getting older, but he hardly paid it any attention, let alone celebrated. He hardly bothered to notice it's passing at all, but he liked to know how old he was. It kept him lucid.

He was spending today, his 34th birthday to be exact, with Sirius at Grimmauld Place. He was counting on the fact that the sixteen years since they had last celebrated Remus' birthday would keep him from remembering. But Sirius was seeking out any excuse to celebrate or to have any fun at all, so Remus wouldn't put it beyond him to look through all the old albums until he found out something special to do now that he was stopping to visit. Being cooped up alone left you craving those small moments when other people were with you, especially when that one person was the only remaining close friend you had from school.

Remus apparated to the steps outside Grimmauld Place, watching the building push its way out of the molding on both sides of it before he stepped in silently. Due to his light step, Mrs. Black's portrait remained silent and the curtain drawn shut, the house completely silent. He weaved his way down the hallway, watching for any signs of life.

"It's the werewolf, here in the house of my mistress. A Half-breed, looking at Kreacher he is. It's alright Mistress, he'll leave soon. He always does." The back of one of Kreacher's feet became visible as Remus came around the corner. The elf's muttering died off into unintelligible murmurs when he knew he couldn't pretend that he wasn't heard. His eyes were hidden in the shadow of an old grandfather clock in the hallway, but Remus could picture their bat-like stare as he crossed down the hall, Kreacher's voice becoming more and more faint as he headed down the adjoining hallway.

He disliked the elf almost as much as Sirius. He was disturbed and there was some deep part of Remus that despised being called a werewolf, even though it was a fact. Saying it out loud almost made it more real, solidifying the idea. He shook the thought out of his head, walking towards the squawking noise at the end of the hall where he knew Buckbeak had to be. He could guess by the noise that Sirius was feeding him, and that thought was confirmed when Sirius' voice came floating out of the room, talking to the massive Hippogriff. Turning the opposite way, avoiding the hallway exit that led back to Kreacher, Remus headed back for the staircase.

He reached the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge, digging out the chocolate bar he had hidden here when he had been around the first of the month. He took one bite of it, the cold chocolate exactly what he needed before he stuffed it back into its hiding spot as he heard Sirius tramping down the stairs. "Moony!" A loud voice came from behind him Sirius looked ecstatic, grinning in that goofy way that showed you couldn't take anything he said seriously. "I was waiting on you to show up!"

Sirius crossed over to the old sink and rinsed the raw meat residue off his hands. "Go in the living room, I have a surprise for later, but I'm making a birthday dinner!" Sirius went over to the ancient looking oven and glanced inside. Remus followed him over to it, the thing had a hatch where you were supposed to light a fire, a hatch that he could tell hadn't been opened. "Why isn't it cooking, it's been in there for nearly an hour?" Sirius stared at what could have been chicken, examining the pale pink color of the meat.

"Did you light the oven, Sirius?" Remus pulled out his wand. "Incendio!" a fire sprang to life, heating the chicken.

"Shit." Sirius said, and slammed the door. "Still, go in the living room, Tonks should be here any minute to keep you company, Remus." He sulked off to the cabinet, rustling through what sounded like boxes. "I'll get Kreacher to help me."

Like magic, the house elf appeared in the kitchen, standing in one of the table's chairs. "Kreacher is here, master." Remus could hear the Elf's disgust and decided that it would be better if he left the room. He sank into the same couch as before, this time pulling a copy of an ancient Daily prophet from the end table. He scanned it over; it was dated a little bit before he had taught at Hogwarts. He watched the pictures move around, the front page announcing the death of alchemist Nicholas Flamel and his wife, Perenelle after they had destroyed the Sorcerer's Stone.

He started to read the article, paying note to the names he recognizes. Dumbledore's name is repeated several times throughout the article, he notices, mostly with the words "good friend" or "Partner", but it doesn't go into any more detail than that, so he casts it aside as he hears a thump, followed by Mrs. Black's screeching coming from the hallway.

"Wotcher, Remus." An exasperated looking Tonks came into view at the other side of the room, her hair messed up and a spray of dirt decorating her left pant leg. "That woman has the ears of a cat. I barely hit the door and she starts screaming at me."

"She never was pleasant." Remus agreed, watching her flop down in the same armchair she had been sitting in, flop was the only word he could use to describe the motion, sit was too light, but fell was slightly too heavy. "Even when she was still alive."

"You knew her?" Her pink eyebrows lifted, and she half-rolled over in the chair so that she was sitting with her legs criss-crossed under her.

"Yes. I've known Sirius since I was eleven; I used to come over here in the summer with him and James Potter." His voice was laced with something like anger, but it wasn't threatening. More like a warning not to tread too far into the subject.

"I didn't meet Sirius until I was almost eight." Tonks said, leaning back in the chair and curling her lips, her hair turning a deep shade of blue. "His mum wouldn't let my mum anywhere near the house, so we had to wait until she died before we actually met them. 'Course, he was in Azkaban about a year later, so I never knew him that well."

"Oh." She didn't sound sad, but then again, Remus had never heard her upset before. Instead of responding, for his complete lack of words, he watched her. She wasn't looking at him; she was studying the ceiling with her hands on her knees, her smooth chestnut wand resting loosely in one of them.

"And she said that me and Sirius not being in Slytherin made us disgraces to the family." Tonks looked directly at him now, her brief fascination with the ceiling being over. "More so him than me."

"What house were you in?" Remus knew that she had gone to Hogwarts, after all who hadn't, but he had never stopped to think about it before.

"Hufflepuff, same as dad." She changed her hair to black and yellow striped and grinned at him. "I was always the most decorated in the cheering section at Quidditch games. We still never won much though." He laughed, picturing a younger Tonks screaming at the crowd with her bright yellow hair. He had never dressed up much for matches, but he remembered that during the Quidditch cup in their first year, Sirius and James had painted themselves red and gold and had run through the bleachers with their shirt off until McGonagall had forced them to stop after Sirius had fallen on top of a Ravenclaw girl.

"What about you, Remus?" She asked, flashing him a quirky smile.

"Gryffindor, with Sirius, James and Peter." He paused for a second. "The best I could ever do was a Gryffindor scarf. I wasn't much for hair coloring." She laughed slightly and silence fell over them for the first time, like an awkward, uninvited friend.

"Dinner is ready!" A loud bang from the kitchen followed these words, followed by a string of curse words, Remus laughed into his fist, and Tonks rushed down the hall. They swung the door open to see Sirius clutching his right hand and a pan of breaded chicken steaming on the table. "Sit down!" Sirius half-yelled at them, conjuring water and then freezing it on his fingers.

He reached back into the oven, grumbling something about idiotic muggle contraptions while he pulled something else out, this time with potholders. He hid it form view with his body and set it behind the fridge so that neither of his house-guests could see it. Remus looked around for Kreacher, but guessed that the elf had not made it through ten minutes of Sirius' attempts at cooking.

"Chicken for Moony's birthday." Sirius conjured up plates and rather than touching it, he levitated the chicken to their plates. They ate dinner quickly, listening to Sirius' triumphant story about breading and cooking the chicken, telling both of them how he had almost dropped it onto the floor, but caught it at the last second, and how he and Kreacher had worked together to make the special thing behind the fridge.

They finished their chicken and Sirius stood up, vanishing all of their plates and moved behind the fridge. "Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to You! Happy birthday dear Moony, happy birthday to you!"

Sirius pulled back, holding an enormous German chocolate cake, covered in chocolate pecan frosting, with "Happy Birthday Moony" with a little wolf drawn in icing on the top. "Most of the credit goes to the elf, seeing as how he did everything but apply the frosting. My idea though."

"Thanks, Sirius." He was touched, and German Chocolate was his favorite. He got the first slice, easily as big as his fist and he savored every bite of it. His affection grew for Kreacher; the elf could make good cake. After a few bites for each of them, Tonks turned to him.

"I didn't know it was your birthday, Remus."

(A/N) So this one took longer, it also is longer. Their relationship is moving slow, but things will start to pick up next chapter, trust me. Read and review, and by the way, Lupin's Birthday really is March Tenth, just for a fun fact.


	4. Knowledge

Tonks arrived at her office minutes after leaving home, still late despite her try to start being responsible. Once glance around her office shot down that dream, papers were scattered around the room, files were scattered and thousands of dark wizard photos danced around in their frames, whether pinned to the bulletin board or scattered around the desk. She would kill to bring her mother to work, just so she could clean up. But with Voldemort on the loose, that wasn't a good idea. Besides, she doubted that she would leave her dad anyway.

Today was going to be miserable. She was going to have to spend it all day in the records room, sorting through a load of files that no one had touched in over sixth months. She figured that it was stemming from Fudge's knowledge that she hadn't been arriving on time for work for the past fortnight, so she guessed that Dawlish was getting the mission that was meant for her and that today wouldn't be the last she spent in the record's room.

Trooping down the hall she only tripped on two chairs on one door, a new record, and when she reached the records, she slid in without a hitch. The Hall of Records was massive, rows of magically sealed filing cabinets stretched from wall to wall, creating an intricate, yet somehow completely orderly maze of files on wizards. Tonks moved left, passing one short wizard from the Department of Magical Corrections as she moved to the section she was supposed to be reviewing. The note that had been sent to her yesterday had said she was in charge of K-L, cleaning out false information and moving the files of deceased people to a different section in the room. Simple and boring.

She moved through the K's rather quickly, there weren't that many of them to be honest, and other than just a few touch-ups she only had to remove Igor Karkaroff's file. His body had been found in Upper Germany just a few months after Voldemort's return, his wand gone and two teeth holes in his chest.

Tonks bewitched the file to follow her around, making sure not to spill the contents, and moved over to the L's. She worked steadily, thumbing through one after another, stopping occasionally to make adjustments, but her progress was otherwise undisturbed. She could faintly hear the footsteps and occasional voices of other wizards, but no one seemed to know about people in the middle of the alphabet, so no one came by.

The end was near, they were only two vowels left in the alphabet. Lu- and Ly-. She reached into the first drawer and went through each file in seconds until she got to the last one in the drawer. It looked like it hadn't been touched since it had been put in there whereas some of the others had fingerprints and little smudges all over them.

She didn't pay that much mind until she got to the end of the file, where a familiar face was staring back at her. Lupin, a few years shaved off his appearance, was looking up at her, not smiling but rather pressing his lips together tightly, not moving, the only sign the photograph was enchanted was his blinking slowly. Tonks flipped back to the front of the file. She knew she really had no business reading Remus' file, but she couldn't help it.

"Remus John Lupin, born March 10th, 1960." She read the information quietly out loud, "son of Anna (deceased) and John Lupin (deceased). Graduate of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, all courses certified for the following field: Auror Dept., Dept. of Magical Corrections, Dept. of International magical Cooperation, Dept. of Mysteries." Tonks knew Remus was smart, but he would have had to have at least twelve N.E.W.T.S. to qualify for all of those, it was hard enough to get the five required to be an Auror.

"Never Employed by Ministry of Magic, only registered job at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry teaching Defense against the Dark Arts." Tonks looked through the rest of the information, citing where Remus might have worked, and the reasons he hadn't. It covered the next three pages and she started to wonder why any of this was important. Most Ministry records consisted of your name, your spouse's name, and your children's names. Finally she reached the last page of information, the one in front of his picture.

After a record of his known places of residence, her eyes fell on the last sentence. "Known Werewolf. Infected with virus around age six, assumed attack committed by Fenrir Greyback, known Lycanthrope." She knew Remus was a werewolf, Dumbledore had told her personally when she joined, but she hadn't known how it had happened.

"No known attacks on humans, leaves civilization every full moon to transform." Tonks read on, absorbing this, thinking of Remus. It made more sense now, how he never seemed to have much money; he was never around when the moon grew large in the sky, his nickname Moony. She had known he was a werewolf, but it was almost like she had never absorbed the information, almost like her brain was now suddenly a sponge.

She closed the file, sliding it back into the shelf and grabbing Karkaroff's file from the air, still thinking of Remus. Of his quietness, his sadness, the way he always seemed tired. And most horrible, of him having to transform as a child, not even old enough to understood, and of his scars. The ones that were etched into his face like obscure drawings. She knew that somehow his being a werewolf had caused them, even if she didn't want to think about how.

She hurried to stuff the file in correctly and rushed back to her office, grabbing her jacket and the camera out of her desk that she was supposed to use for reconnaissance on missions. She broke through the barrier guarding the ministry and apparated straight to Grimmauld Place.

She had to see Remus, not to ask questions, just to know she had drawn the right conclusions.

(A/n) Poor Lupin, he always gets the short end of the stick. Stupid Werewolf registration Act, it's pretty much screwed him over. So yes, this one was a lot more Tonks, and next is going to involve an interesting conversation. Read and review as always


	5. Outcasts

Seeing Remus casually standing in the kitchen drinking hot chocolate in a button-up shirt and dress pants was unnerving. She was skating around him on egg shells even though he flashed her a rare smile when she came in to the kitchen. After her conversation with Sirius, she thought it would be hard to talk to Remus, after everything she had learned about what he had been through, but the smile relaxed her, and she simply walked to the fridge, half-smiling back at him.

"Hello." He said slowly, taking a long drink of chocolate. The way he was talking she realized that he knew something about her and Sirius' conversation or about what she had discovered about him. "I need to talk to you."

"I'm all ears, Remus." She pulled a bottle of juice out of the fridge, bypassing the Firewhiskey since she had the feeling that this was going to be a conversation that did not need to be influenced by alcohol.

"Sirius told me that you asked about my….condition." He said slowly, sliding into one of the ancient wooden chairs surrounding the table; she took another, directly across from him, draining the bottle of juice in a few gulps, waiting on him to speak. "I assumed you knew what I was."

"Oh, I knew you were a werewolf, Remus. That wasn't what I had a question about." She said casually, pushing the bottle back and forth in between her hands. His eyebrows went up, thought that didn't really surprise her, how often did two people discuss Lycanthropy casually over juice?

"I see." He drained his mug and set it back down on the table, clearly unsure of what to say next.

"I wanted to know how you had dealt with that since you were six, Remus. That's why I talked to Sirius." She couldn't meet his gaze at that point, instead choosing to study the fading patches on his shirt, decorating him like some bizarre mosaic but almost looked intentional. "Just so you know, he didn't give me much of an answer. Mostly that you were tough as nails and I should ask you myself."

"Oh." She looked up at his face, seeing an odd sort of uncertainty reflected in the green eyes, but also something close to thankfulness. Not a common expression when asking questions was involved. "It wasn't exactly easy."

"I hadn't figured it was." She spoke gently trying to coax him into saying more, but trying her best not to push him.

"It was hard for my parents to deal with it. Having a werewolf for a son doesn't get you much sympathy, I think that's why I didn't really expect to have much of a future." He spoke softly, tracing the grain of the wooden table with his eyes as he spoke. "Dumbledore gave me the chance, and I took it. The rest of the story is basically what you see now. My oldest friends were James, Sirius, Peter, and Lily, Sirius is the only one left."

He pulled the mug up to his face, forgetting that it was empty, before he set it back down, looking up at her, setting his hands flat on the table. "It's not easy when you're different." She agreed, noting his look of surprise.

She turned her hair orange, then green, then a dark purple and finally back to pink. "When I was eleven, my appearance changed with my emotions. You can imagine that would make people uncomfortable."

They sat in silence after this last revelation, Tonks twirling the empty juice bottle around with her index finger before she drew her wand and vanished it into nonbeing. "Want to go to the living room?"

"Yes." She led them out, waiting on him to put his mug in the sink and sank down in the same armchair she always sat in at this house. It was the only one suitable for humans, so she gravitated towards it while he moved to sit on the couch.

"Where's Sirius?" She asked, looking over at him sitting awkwardly with his ankles crossed on the floors.

"Taking a nap, I think. He was up late, drinking and cursing everyone at the Daily Prophet for abusing his godson." Remus said, keeping a straight face. "It was an interesting evening."

Tonks laughed, and then for lack of having anything else to discuss, stood up and went to the end table next to Remus, covered with books. She grabbed one off the top, effectively knocking over the one under it. She and Remus reached for it at the same time, he grabbed the book and she grabbed him, his rough calloused fingers warm form the chocolate.

She felt the tiniest twitch in the pit of her stomach and moved her hand. "Good catch." She said, moving to sit down. She felt her eyes following her, and it wasn't until she looked back at him that he finally stacked the book back up on the pile, and getting one to read himself.

Tonks apparated home ten minutes later, unable to sit in the same room with him after what had happened.

(A/N) So this one is shorter, but I hope it effectively gets the message across. Read and review, hope you enjoyed! Updates are not going to be as frequent, since my schedule is about to become very busy.


	6. Meetings

Groggily, Tonks arrived at her flat after a long day at work, catching one man who thought it would be wise to bewitch cauldrons to make potions themselves, resulting in a flooding of Draught of Loving Death pouring all over a village, almost killing one family and eliminating an entire garden and the local rat infestation. She had an Order meeting in less than an hour, but needed to be refreshed by then, and she was well on her way to simply collapsing on the couch and going to the order as she was now.

The April meeting was being held at Grimmauld Place, as was usual for every monthly meeting, and she wanted to look half-way decent in front of all the older members, not that she cared what they thought but because she couldn't stand them looking at her and assuming that because of her behavior and appearance, all people under the age of 100 acted like buffoons. She didn't want to tarnish her entire generation.

And on top of that, Remus would be there. She wanted to see him, ever since she had talked to him three days ago about their shared social dilemma; she had felt an odd sort of bond that she couldn't even share with Clara, her best friend since school who worked two floors up in the Department of Magical Corrections. After all that had been said, she didn't want him to think that she was still attempting to separate herself from everyone.

She showered quickly, drying her hair with a quick spell, and donning blue jeans with a black shirt and matching jacket, a rather simple outfit considering her usual taste. She apparated instantly, ending up in front of the windy, but abandoned street in front of Sirius' house, where she said the name in low phrase, entering the house seconds later. She stepped as lightly as possible, and for one of the only times in her life, she managed to avoid setting Mrs. Black into a frenzy, and instead was able to move closer to the low voices in the kitchen without detection, not that she was trying to be secretive.

"She likes you, Moony." Sirius' voice came from the kitchen, stopping Tonks at the door.

"I highly doubt that Sirius." Remus' quiet voice answered him, followed by complete silence, which Tonks took advantage of, heading into the kitchen loudly, as to announce herself. Both Remus and Sirius looked at her like she was some kin do wild animal, but Sirius' gaze broke half-way through when he grinned and laughed into his mug of Butterbeer while Remus finally looked down at the table.

"Where's everyone else?" She slid into the seat next to Remus, summoning a glass of Butterbeer form the counter and taking a long swig.

"Here." Said Sirius, as the loud screeches of Mrs. Black came from the hallway, followed by the thumping of Mad-eye Moody's leg and the scurried sound of footsteps of many members coming up the hall. Moody, followed by Kingsley, Dawlish, Snape (which was unusual considering term was still running) and Dumbledore bringing up the rear. Moody settled himself behind her chair, his eye swiveling around to take in everyone in the room, despite having just walked in with the majority of them.

"What have we managed since the last meeting?" Dumbledore spoke form the end of the table opposite Sirius, taking himself a glass of Butterbeer but neglecting to drink it.

"We know that Voldemort has since made no progress towards retrieving the prophecy than he was when Arthur was attacked." Lupin said quietly, looking up at the old wizard.

"We do. But in the means of Voldemort's followers, how far have we gotten? With the werewolves, Remus?"

"They are being controlled by Greyback; he's forming sort of a group and rallying that power to Voldemort. I'm afraid that they are all but lost." If Dumbledore was surprised or disappointed by this news, it did not show, instead he studied Lupin's face for a few more moments before moving on to Dawlish.

"And, the vampires?" Dawlish only shook his head slowly, not able to meet Dumbledore's gaze. No one said anything for a minute, and the only sound Tonks could hear was the low whirring of Moody's eye as it zoomed around in its socket.

"Sir, perhaps if I left Hogwarts…" Snape started, only to be stopped seconds later by the former Headmaster.

"No, Severus. I need you at Hogwarts to watch over Harry. I do not trust Dolores Umbridge in my absence." He said it like he was swatting away a fly. "And since, we have very little to discuss at this meeting, I would like all of you to know that Arthur Weasley is making an excellent recovery, and will be returning to his job next week."

The news was met with happy murmurs by all except Snape, who sat with the same stone-faced expression as usual. A few minutes later, the Order filed out, leaving Tonks, Remus, and Sirius back in the same place they were with only Moody's last reminder of "Constant! Vigilance!" as Tonks turned back to Remus.

"So, Remus, who likes you?" Lupin, who had a mouthful of Butterbeer almost spit all over himself, barely managing to swallow that hot beverage instead.

"No one." Sirius, meanwhile, had buried his head in the arm of his red robe he was wearing over his clothes. "Why do you ask?"

"Because my cousin is going to give himself an aneurism." She answered coolly, letting him process that.

"Oh." Remus looked down at the table, looking very uncomfortable all of a sudden while Sirius finally lifted his head up. "Well, it's no one you know."

Any composure Sirius had left disappeared as he slammed his hand over his mouth and headed out of the room. Remus flashed a small smile as Sirius' laughter echoed down the hall.

"Right," she said, smirking a little. "Bye, Remus." She left the room, leaving Lupin alone in his chair. As soon as Sirius heard her leave the house, his voice floated back down the stairs.

"I told you, Moony!"

(A/N) New update, yay! I know it took a while, but my life is in overdrive at the moment! :D


	7. Raid

Remus was sitting on the bottom step outside his flat, waiting on Tonks. She wasn't due for another fifteen minutes, and judging by her regular punctuality, he probably wouldn't see her for at least twenty-five. He was waiting in his living room, ready to apparated into Diagon Alley, but for now he was simply sitting in his own living room, thinking about Tonks, and his choice in decoration.

Over the past five minutes he had convinced himself that going on patrol was nothing to be excited about, it meant another night of sleep lost and yet another difficult full moon next week when his sleeping patterns would again be disrupted. He knew that Dumbledore tried to avoid scheduling his patrol nights to close to the full moon, but what no one understood was that all the sleep Lupin had missed his entire life as a creature of the night had added up. He was years behind, so no matter how far form the full moon he patrolled, he was never going to catch that sleep up. It was another 8 hours added to his running total that were the cause of the permanently shadowy look his features held.

But he couldn't stop that small prick of happiness at getting to share the evening with Tonks, doing absolutely nothing other than talking, walking through a place they were both comfortable. She was easy to talk to, he considered her a friend now, one of the few people he truly revealed himself to. And not talking about his werewolf side, his real self, the Remus Lupin that was buried underneath walls of emotional stability he had built for himself since he was six and had to hide himself for the first time, really before he had developed "himself". She understood that part of him, and after the discussion a few days ago, it was hard not to feel a sort of kinship with her. Two outcasts who had found each other.

His choice in décor; however, was bothering him a little, for the first time since he had moved here almost five years ago. His old Gryffindor flag that was nearly as thin and fraying almost as much as his traveling cloak was hanging on the wall above a mantle that rested over a fireplace that only served as a closeable entrance to the Floo network. That was normal, he wasn't the only one that kept their old Hogwarts memento's hanging up, no, what really bothered him was the furniture.

None of it matched, the couch was a dull red like a bruised tomato, a Hunter's Green couch, and some sort of black and blue marbled footstool. None of it matched the thick gray carpet on the ground, or any of the posters hanging on the wall, which included his flag. Not that he really cared about matching furniture; this had been his bachelor residence for five years, or, as Sirius called it, "The Wolf Den". But if he ever had people over, it would look like a collection of homeless people had donated their furniture to him.

He beat down the thought. Who was coming over? No one. He knew what he had been thinking about, but he destroyed that thought almost before it formed. Tonks wasn't coming over, she had no reason to, he told himself. Unable to sit on the stairs any longer, he stepped outside and apparated instantly to outside Ollivander's, where he and Tonks had agreed to meet by owl. He leaned back against the building, taking off his cloak and vanishing it back to his flat at the feel of the warm spring breeze. He was wearing a white, long-sleeved button-up shirt, and black dress pants, his standard fare since he gotten twelve shirts at a sale for 3 galleons, and five pairs of the pants for the same size. It was a relief to have clothes that weren't so worn, but right now they were hot, too hot to really be wearing.

But he wasn't leaving now to change; instead he did a very un-Remus thing, and unbuttoned the top two buttons, careful not to go any farther so he didn't expose his scars. People didn't pay much attention to him though, only a few people spared him glances as he walked past, but no one lingered long, adding to the broad feeling of fear that was settling over the entire world. Even those who choose to believe the Ministry couldn't ignore that something was wrong, they chose not to admit it was Voldemort, but in no way were they pretending that everything was fine.

He only had to wait a few more minutes, leaning against the grimy brick wall of the building, when he saw Tonks approaching from up the street, walking much too fast to try to blend in, her hair long and brown blowing out behind her. "Remus." She said in a hoarse voice, reaching him.

"What is it?" He stared at her, his wand already in his hand.

"The Death Eaters have a raid tonight! We have to go now!" She grabbed his hand and before he could even react, and he felt the tug of apparition as she pulled them both to Voldemort's next scheduled victims.

The street they ended up on was pitch black, thanks to the ever-approaching twilight and the thick canopy of trees completely surrounding the neighborhood. "They're up here, we have to be quiet."

Tonks released his hand, pointing her own wand into the darkness, leading the way to the home he could barely make out in the trees. "_Homunum Revelio_." He whispered under his breath, his voice hoarse with his dry throat. No one was there, or if they were, they weren't in range of the charm.

Tonks led the way through the unlocked door, waiting until Remus was beside her to shut it quickly, locking it and sealing it with varying levels of enchantments before she moved to dot eh same to set up a protective coating around the house, a shield of sorts. Remus moved through the house however, looking for the family. He found them, cowering in a room, two twin boys, maybe five years old, and a girl who was maybe ten, accompanied by both their parents, both brandishing their wands, but look terrified just the same.

"We're here to keep you safe. Stay in her, no matter what happens." He turned to go back to Tonks, before a last thought struck him. "Put enchantments over the doorway and walls, hopefully they won't be necessary." And without a word from them, he pushed back into the living room where Tonks was waiting.

He stood about two feet from her, feeling the electric tension in the room. His breath came slow, but loud even though nothing happened for a moment. Minutes ticked by, but he didn't dare lower his wand, but he did steal a glance at Tonks, standing rigid, with her wand held aloft, waiting.

They were rewarded shortly, the high pitched laugh of Bellatrix Lestrange breaking through the walls of the house, followed by what sounded like a horrible explosion, sending the door flying in between Remus and Tonks to bang against the back wall. Bellatrix came into the house, followed by Yaxley, still emitting the high pitched laughter.

"Look who we've got here!" She curled his tongue over her teeth. "Hello, Remus." She said it oddly, mockingly, before she pointed her wand at him, a jet of bright blue light flying at him.

He blocked and dodged as she shot more curses at him, Yaxley moving to duel Tonks who had already shot a stunning jinx at him. Bellatrix was still smiling, laughing every time one of her hexes missed Remus and destroyed another part of the family's house, decorating the floor with debris and blowing one of the walls out completely. Remus knew he couldn't keep this up forever, Bellatrix realized it too, and with one last body-bind curse at Remus, she turned to her niece, raising her wand to hit a defenseless Tonks.

Remus shot a Stinging jinx at the back of her head as he missed the window of opportunity to block the curse sent at him. He felt his legs lock, along with his legs and he fell sideways, hitting his head on the end table before falling onto the broken remnants of the window, but not before he had seen Bellatrix's skin start to deform and her stuff her wand into her cloak as her hands swelled and she would have dropped it.

She let out a scream of fury as her skin continued to swell, and Remus, from his new found position on the glass coated floor could hear the crack as she dissaperated. Yaxley, seeing as he was now outnumbered, followed her shortly, leaving the house oddly quiet, a graveyard resembling what it had been.

"Remus!" Tonks didn't even waste a second, rushing over to him, releasing the body-bind curse, and pulling his upper body off the floor into her arms, getting his torso out of the rain of glass shards. She examined his head, muttering a simple spell, before helping him to his feet.

He was dizzy, the blow to the head causing more damage that he realized and he quickly sank onto the defiled couch while she left him sitting there while she went to tell the family. Minutes later she came back, but by then, his consciousness was almost completely gone. He could hear her telling him not to go to sleep, but he wasn't really paying attention to her, his brain was fading in and out, in and out.

He remembered them apparating, and her basically carrying him inside and up the stairs, even though he had no idea where he was. He remembered laying down on the bed, and her saying something.

Even though he had no idea what it was.

(A/N) First, I don't know if I spelled that spell right, sorry if I didn't, somebody please tell me. Second, as for the delay on the update, this will probably be my new norm, once or twice a week, sorry, but that's all I can handle right now. Third, I hoped you liked this chapter! :D Rand R as usual!


	8. Changes

Ice was being pushed through his skull, hitting every nerve ending as it went, so cold it burned his skin. He tried to talk, to tell whoever was pushing it to stop, but his words came out in a jumbled mass, so instead, with an effort that almost left him breathless, he lifted his arm to knock it away, he just barely grazed the frozen water before it was gone, leaving behind only relief.

It lasted seconds, maybe even a shorter time that that before a different, steady pressure was pushing on the same spot. He lifted his fingers to it, feeling s sort of thick rubbery material under his fingertips. His eyes opened, but only a fraction because the brightness hurt worse than the ice had. He saw a bright patch of red in front of his face, and a blur of brown, white, and black moving around.

"Remus?" Tonks, that explained the red hair, she stopped moving and he saw the red blur coming closer and dared to open his eyes because she was blocking out most of the light. He was disoriented, but he was focused on her face, which was decorated by a set of small slashes on her right cheek that looked like something had just barely grazed her. "How do you feel?

"Whatthebloodyhellhappened?" His words ran together like alcoholics, and he knew it made him sound worse by the twist her expression took.

"Bellatrix happened." He heard her mutter something that sounded suspiciously like "that bitch." But he decided that since he agreed, he would do better not to comment on that. "Drink this." He could tell by the smell, it wasn't water, most likely a potion, but his brain was so fuzzed he couldn't taste it properly and was only left with an aftertaste similar to that of burning rubber.

The medicine worked beautifully though, and the horrible feeling in his head vanished almost instantly, leaving him free to sit up the few seconds later, his head only throbbing slightly with the movement. As he did that, he felt Tonks had close on his shoulder, his bare shoulder, supporting him slightly. He looked down, his shirt was gone, exposing the thick web of scars that littered most of his torso and he knew his back.

He shut his eyes for a second, embarrassment washing over him, wondering why she had taken his shirt off, until he reopened them and glanced down again, noticing for the first time that there were bandages there too, mixed in and almost camouflaged due to their matching color with his skin.

"How long have I been out?" He asked quietly, knowing she was staring at him.

"Less than a day. The raid was only last night, Remus." She moved to stand in front of him, but not meeting his gaze. "I was so scared Remus, I thought you were going to die."

He watched her, knowing this wasn't an easy admission for her. "Thank you, for saving me."

"You're welcome." Neither said anything, her gaze fixed on the foot of the bed, and his on his hands until he swung his legs over the side of the bed, putting one of his hands on the side of her face turned away from him. Without thinking, without really realizing what he was doing, he turned her towards him and kissed her softly on the lips. She kissed him back, and they stayed like that for a few seconds before he pulled back from her, both of them looking shocked at the other.

Saying nothing else, he grabbed a shirt off of the dresser and went downstairs headed for the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, not knowing Kreacher had been watching from the hallway. The elf was watching Tonks now, his bat-like face contorted with something like rage, but it vanished replaced by a smugness that he couldn't hide and he went away muttering about the half-blood and the werewolf, in his mistress house.

Half an hour later, Remus was still sitting in the chair at the end of the table in the kitchen, his hand wrapped around a mug of hot coffee, the other one fingering his bandage that was magically attached to his bruise on his head so that it wouldn't attach to his hair. He half-wanted Tonks to come downstairs, and he half-never wanted to see her again. Why had he done? _Because he wanted to, _he told himself, and for once, he tried his best to ignore himself.

He heard footsteps pounding down the stairs and expected to see her pop into the kitchen at any moment, seeing as he couldn't make an exit before she arrived, but instead a head of curly black hair made its way in instead. Sirius sat down in a chair and scooted up until he was level with Remus's face, barely a foot separating them, his eyes serious.

"Moony." He said, and Remus could tell he was forcing back a smile.

"Sirius." Remus cocked an eyebrow at his old friend.

"You know, Kreacher was just muttering the strangest thing out in the hall, Moony. You know what it was?"

"That your mother's reincarnate was walking through the building?" Remus sipped his coffee, a dark feeling of dread creeping up his arms.

"No, no, not that." He paused for a minute, presumably for dramatic effect. "He said something about a certain Blood-traitor and another certain werewolf snogging in the most noble house of his mistress."

Remus almost choked, but was desperate not to show it. "And you believed him?"

"Kreacher's an old nutter, so no I didn't, until I saw my cousin wondering around aimlessly upstairs, whispering to herself." Sirius leaned back in his chair, smiling for the first time. "Care to explain."

"I…Well, I just…No. I don't." Sirius' eyebrows went up and he folded his hands together and placed them on his chest, regarding his friend.

"That's alright. It's your business." Sirius and Lupin looked at each other, Sirius nearing a laugh, and Remus wanting desperately to leave, until a very angry scream spilt through the kitchen.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK! Get up here now!"

(A/N) Sorry for the long delay, haven't been home till now really. Hope this was worth it.


	9. Divide

Sirius and Lupin exchanged one look before the pair of them shot up the stairs, Sirius leading the charge to Tonk's room where a string of obscenities could be heard pouring form the room. They came into the doorway, and almost instantly Sirius collapsed laughing onto the floor, tears coming to the corners of his eyes. Kreacher, was hanging off of Tonks, his arms wrapped around her neck, his spidery fingers linked together it what was supposed to be a strangle hold, but had no real grip on her neck.

The curses were actually coming fr0om him. "In the most noble house of Black….the blood traitor and the werewolf!" he kept it up, adding words that Lupin hadn't heard in years, none of which were good, and came in a constant stream. Tonks looked like she was dancing around the room, he hands trying to pry the bat-like elf off of her shoulders, banging him against various cushioned pieces of furniture.

"Get your damn elf off of me, Sirius!" But Sirius was too busy laughing to give any kind of order, so it was up to Remus. In the end, after hopelessly trying to slow them down, he immobilized both of them, and pulled Kreacher off of her, still frozen, and put him across the hall before he allowed him movement. He ran at the door that Remus shut behind him, his tiny fists pounding against the doorframe.

He released Tonks, trying desperately not to laugh at her expression which mirrored that of Molly Weasley when she was pissed off. "Some trouble a little snogging in this house can cause." Sirius coughed out between breaths, pointing between the pair of them. "Better watch yourselves."

"Maybe you should learn some self-control, Sirius. Or maybe some over the elf, which by the way, I'm pretty sure Remus locked in your room." A smirk spread over her face as Sirius leapt up from the chair and ran down the hall to where Kreacher could still be heard beating something against the floor.

Tonks watched him go before she turned to Remus, and he just realized how close together they were, how small the room was. She put her hand on his shoulder, a sharp tingle shooting up his arm straight to his chest, as Sirius' voice overtook that of the banging down the hall. "He's right, you know."

"About what exactly?" Remus felt a thrill of fear shoot up his spine; he knew where this was going.

"About being careful." She pressed closer to him, putting her other hand up on his shoulder, looping them around his neck. "About snogging."

And then, without thinking about what he was doing or how wrong it was, his hands fell to her hips and he kissed her for the second time that morning. It wasn't as surprising, but probably twice as long as the one earlier, but he pulled back sooner than he wanted, to, unable to ignore the nagging part in the back of his brain. "We can't do this, Nymphadora."

Maybe she had thought he would say he loved her, or that he would make a joke about snogging, but this caught her completely off guard. She slowly let go of him, her arms aloof, her eyes a bit wider than usual. "Why not? If this is about the house elf, I'll get over it-"

"This is wrong. I'm a whole generation older than you..." She opened her mouth to protest but he stopped her gently. "I'm a werewolf, Nymphadora."

"You think I care about that, Remus? About age? About your lycanthropy?" She took a step closer to him. "You're not acting like a werewolf right now." She added quietly, grabbing the front of his robes in desperation. "You're just Remus."

"I'm sorry." He pulled her hands off his cloak, wanting nothing more than to hug her and kiss her again. But he fought back the urge, getting the sudden picture of her bleeding, dead on the floor and himself as a wolf, the taste of her blood in his mouth after he killed her. He backed towards the doorway. That could ever happen. Ever. He wouldn't let it. "I can't take that chance."

Remus backed into the hall, watching Tonks for a last second as her hair went from pink to dark brown, watching her stare at him as he made into the hall, disgusted with himself and a horrible feeling of loss hovering right over his heart, crushing it. He took two steps towards the stairs when her door slammed, rattling the doorframe. Remus stopped his descent and looked back at it, noticing for the first time that Sirius was standing at the end of the hallway, staring at him.

"What's wrong, Moony?" Sirius asked, his gaze shifting from his cousin's slammed door to his friend perched at the top of his staircase. "I figured the two of you were snogging in there."

"We were." Remus said quietly, turning to go back to the kitchen and finish his drink. "Now we're not." He started down the stairs.

"What did you say to her?" He heard Sirius coming towards him and started down the stairs. "Remus! Moony!"

`He ignored his friend and left the house, apparating as soon as he crossed the doorway, ending up at the front stairs of his own flat, tears already burning his eyes.

(A/N) Talk about fast relationships! Poor Tonks, poor Remus, poor Sirius (shortly). Read and review! :D Sorry for the delay! :D


	10. Desperation

The more he stared, the more interesting the ceiling became to him. He could see faces in the textures, trace patterns in them because he wouldn't let his mind wander to more serious things. He had tried reading, but found himself skipping over the words and thinking of her face, he had tried drinking but found himself thrown even deeper downwards into a bad spiral, and, as a result, he sat here every day after his patrols and studied his ceiling. Today he had managed to make the askew paint lines into six different members of the Parliament.

He had not spoken to or heard form Tonks in days. He had seen her at Grimmauld place, when meeting up with Dawlish for night watch at Diagon Alley, but she had turned away shoved out the door and apparated away before he had the chance to even acknowledge her. Sirius refused to talk about it; he was barely on speaking terms at all with his oldest friends, so Remus distracted himself by focusing on the newspapers and his ceiling tiles.

Six more killed in France, muggles and "lesser" wizards. To the Order, the clear work of Death Eaters, to the ministry "Accidents Unrelated to the Dark Lord/Harry Potter". Several order members had been deployed by Dumbledore to watch for more signs of Death Eaters in and around France, but so far the rest of them had heard nothing.

Things carried on as normal, Mrs. Weasley inviting them all for food that they would have liked to eat but never had time to, Sirius drinking more Firewhiskey than he should have had money for, and Harry isolated from everyone. Remus was on watch every other night, only a few nights a month in a row with nothing, but his sleep could measured in minutes rather than in hours. Tomorrow, he had patrol in the Department of Mysteries.

A loud thumping made Remus shoot straight up in his bed, his still injured head throbbing at the action. He grabbed his wand from the unkempt bed and ran swiftly but silently to the downstairs. He went to the door, casting a charm that let him see through his cheap metal door.

He swung the door open to a disheveled Nymphadora, reaching to bang on the door again. "Tonks?"

"Remus!" Her voice was desperate, so pleading that it wiped away all his discomfort.

"What the hell happened?" He said, trying to help her in, but she wouldn't go.

"I had to come and get you." She let out a long breath. "Harry took his group of Friends to the Ministry of Magic."

"And?" Remus had a deep sense of dread well up in the back of his mind; he knew something was going on before she finished speaking. He understood.

"Death Eaters. Voldemort!" She was practically yelling and Remus thanked god that his neighbors were sleeping soundly. "We have to go, without us; they're going to get killed!"

"I'm coming." He grabbed onto her arm so they could apparated, and she only hesitated for a moment at his touch, meeting his gaze and glancing away before Remus felt the tug and cavernous room of the Department of mysteries started to materialize in front of him.

(A/N) Hello, its good to be back. Sorry for that ridiculously long wait I made you sit through! New chapter coming soon! :D


	11. Final

Remus found himself separate from Tonks as his feet hit the floor. Dolohov materialized in front of his face, holding Luna Lovegood against him, his wand against her throat. The spell was out of his lips before he had even steadied himself. "_Locomotor Mortis!"_

The Death Eater dropped the girl, twisting backwards to dodge the blue light and aimed a curse at Remus who sprinted out of the way. The room lit with flashes, rang with the sound of Bellatrix's demented laughter that made his still injured head throb horribly, but he couldn't stop. He stunned hit Dolohov in the chest, who limped away injured. He could have killed him, wanted to kill him, but made himself stop, choosing to aim another stun at Goyle.

It hit him, square in the chest and he couldn't help but whip around and search for Tonks. He didn't see her but ducked a green burst shot straight for his face. He fired a jinx n the general direction and took off running, another demon cackle splitting his ear drums. He saw Mr. Weasley, his face still scarred but his spells were hitting their targets, his face screwed up in concentration as he held Ginny behind him, keeping her well out of the way of Voldemort's followers, not that she was ding too bad on her own, she had reduced one Death Eater to screams of pain and fury, and was fending one off Neville who was lying dazed and collapsed on the floor.

He passed Sirius and Harry, dueling Lucius and Crabbe with renewed vigor, but then he saw Tonks. Bellatrix had her pinned to the wall, taunting her with weak curses barely missing her head. He could see that she was exhausted, injured, and no match for her estranged Aunt. But she had almost made it to the stairs to the rest of the ministry.

He silently willed her, even as he took aim at Bellatrix. Tonks met his gaze, great relief washed over her features, but Bellatrix saw him, too. She laughed again, switching her curse from her to him. He ducked and in those seconds, Bellatrix crumpled Tonks to the floor with a curse to the stomach. He yelled, but Bellatrix disappeared into thin air before he had the chance.

Rather than go after her, Remus went to Tonks, her head had crashed against the stairs. He was scared to move her, his minor medical experience telling him not o, so instead he stood up, hunting for Bellatrix. As he looked up, Lucius Malfoy crashed into the back wall and crumpled there, the prophecy turning to dust. "_AVADA KEDAVRA!" _

Sirius, standing with Harry, gloating in his victory, was racked by the green blast. He faltered, his stance wobbly and then he fell. Slowly. Horribly. His face still plastered with that gloating smile into the gateway, blocked by a thin veil. He fell through it, his body disappearing. Remus watched Harry, his own body frozen in horror, but he had to stop the boy.

He leapt, his arms wrapped around Harry even as he fought him to go after His Godfather. Remus heard his screams but didn't listen, concentration on keeping him from death. "I killed Sirius Black! I killed Sirius Black!"

Bellatrix added fuel to the fire, her horrible laugh echoing around the walls as she headed for the exit, everyone too stunned to follow her. Harry wrenched himself free of Remus, sprinting after her, leaping over Tonks collapsed form on the ground. Remus fell to his knees, thanking everything that Tonks wasn't awake to see it happen. His blood felt like it was freezing. His oldest friend was gone, dead. No, not just dead. Through the veil. Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.

Sirius was gone. Tonks hated him. But he had to keep on living. He had to drag himself forward. And he did, standing on his legs that felt as thick as lead. He walked over to Tonks. He conjured a gurney, fastening her to it with thick ropes and held her cold hand as they apparated to St. Mungo's, his heart a lead weight holding him down, his mind not being able to focus on anything but Sirius' face as he died.

Died. Dead. Death. So final. Life's final tragedy.

How long before he was gone, too?

(A/N) So, this in my opinion is much better than my first attempt at this What do you think?


	12. Entangled

Tonks breathed in the heavy scent of magic-laden disinfectant, ignoring the moans and groans that drifted through the floors despite the sound-proofing charms. Her head had all but healed, but Mad-Eye had insisted that she stay until all signs of the cut and concussion were gone. She had visitors, order members, friends, her mother. Her father stayed in hiding, sending his love, but choosing to remain put now that Bellatrix was still on the loose.

But Tonks cared neither about her own wounds, nor her visitors' sympathy. Every time she closed her eyes, every time she let her mind wander, one of their faces came to her mind. Half were Remus, his voice of rejection filling her brain even as she remembered his kiss on her lips, and the rest was Sirius, the happy cousin she had grown especially close to in the past month, the only member of her mother's family she could stand to be within ten miles of.

It was her fault he was dead. Bellatrix had killed him, she knew. Mad-Eye had been reluctant to tell her, but she made him, and understood his reluctance. Had she dealt with her aunt, reacted a spilt second faster, used stronger spells, anything different, would he still be alive? But no. She had let herself be hit, hadn't her mind fully on what was going on around, letting her own conflict about Remus cloud her mind and because of it, Sirius was dead. And Remus would hate her.

She rolled over in the bed, seeing her wand and tried to think of something right in the world. She picked up her wand, letting her happiest memory, long before this it seemed like, of the day she kissed Remus. She let it fill her up even as her body resisted. "Expecto Patronum." An enormous animal erupted out of the end of her wand, shocking her backwards onto the bed.

It turned, the wand barely clasped In her fingertips, to face her and growled. In that moment, she realized what it was. She heard the jiggle of the doorknob and let the animal vanish as she whipped around to face the door. It was Remus, looking more worn than he even had before.

He had stopped in the doorway, seeing her awake, and it didn't look like he was going to come any further. She just watched him, his eyes cast downwards at the floor for a moment before he caught her gaze. "I wanted to see if you were alright. I had been here once before."

"I'm as good as I can be, Remus." He looked away again, hearing the lead behind her words aimed at him. "How's Harry?"

"He's with Ron and Hermione. He will have to learn to deal with this on his own." Remus said, leaning against the door frame with one hand still on the handle. His face seemed to drag itself down with that statement, but he was certain, Tonks could tell. He believed that Harry would be able to carry on alone.

"Not everyone has to deal with life by themself, Remus." The words were out before she could stop them and he erected his spine fully, clearing his throat as he did.

"Maybe I should come back another time then." He backed out and slammed the door, Tonks left with a heavier heart than before he had come at all. How could he do this to her? Never, not once had she ever let anyone hurt her this way. It was against her own ideas about how love should work, but here she was, injured and on the verge of tears over a man fifteen years older than she was.

She loved him. Wholly, fully, completely, and he did not feel the same way. She gripped her wand tighter, remembering her new Patronus. It's wispy, lonely eyes staring at her as it stretched its spine to the same height as Remus, it's howl silenced by her before it had the chance to be pulled form its throat.

And how, she thought desperately, would she ever get over him now? Her happiness was a manifesto of him, his body and heart wrapped around that part of her mind fully. And if he was all that was making him happy, how long before even that joy disappeared?

(A/N) So yes, here it is. Another chapter of this story which has become my new goal to finish entirely before school starts again next semester. And this will be my last update for two weeks because I will be out of the reach of internet starting Sunday. Hope you like it, R, R and R as always


	13. Hate

Remus sat at the end of the table at the Burrow, an uneaten bowl of soup sitting on the table in front of him. Molly watched him with a sad smile on her face, finding unimportant tasks to occupy herself while pretending she wasn't watching him. He spun his wand up and down his fingers, waiting on the inevitable conversation that was to come. But, instead, she turned and walked into the other room of the kitchen, and he was left alone with his soup. It was some sort of chili, with peppers and enough onions to peel paint, but it smelled delicious, and he uinwittingly tried to eat some.

He hadn't eaten well in the past weeks, still in silent mourning. Although what he was mourning wasn't clear, even to Remus. Sirius seemed to be the obvious answer, but after Lily and James, Remus counted on himself as being able to deal with death far more easily than most people. And yet, he could barely get the soup down his throat. Sirius' death waved around in his mind, but more prominently was the conversation he had had with Nymphadora. "Not everyone has to deal with life by themselves, Remus." She had almost thrown the words at him. Anger had flared in his chest at her then, and rather than go back to see her, he had gotten his news of her state from Kingsley, who didn't know enough about the situation to wonder about his inquiry.

So, it was Nymphadora who was haunting him, her voice, her anger, her lips from the last time he had kissed her. It seemed like so long ago… He almost threw the spoon down onto the table, the chili now looking too thick to even be considered food. Molly stepped back into the room, and Remus realized, through his self-loathing haze, how much the effort of this silent war was wearing on her.

He saw the tips of gray at the end of several of her red curls, saw the white-blonde patch pulled with the rest into a rough bun. Arthur had just really recovered from his wounds, the money from his not working was tight, and how her home was being used as a makeshift base for the Order. And here she was, trying her best to get him fed, and he couldn't bring himself to eat the chili she offered him.

"Do try and eat, Remus, you look pale." She gave him a tired, motherly smile.

"Molly, have you seen Tonks lately?" Mrs. Weasley blinked twice before answering.

"She was here yesterday, dear. " She laughed gently, handing him a new spoon out of her apron pocket. "I believe she asked exactly the same question about you."

Remus avoided her knowing look then, looking back down at the soup that had stopped steaming, the bits of peppers looking like indigestible pieces of too-bright candy. "Have you spoken to her, Remus?"

He shook his head, knowing better than to lie. She pulled out a seat, and he looked up at her, her laugh lines crinkling as she smiled at him. "I think you know who she feels, Remus. And it's much easier to get through these things with help."

"Molly," He set the spoon down next to the bowl, knowing that not a bite more of that soup would pass his lips. "I can't be with Tonks. I can't take away her life like that."

"Remus, honey, what would you be taking away from her?" She took one of his hands between hers and patted it gently, "Love? A relationship with the man she loves?" She laughed gently again. "I'm not sure you have the right to take those things away, Remus."

"I'm far too dangerous for her." Horrible images, scarring thoughts of him holding her body, mangled while her blood stayed strong on his lips, swam to his vision.

"You don't seem to be dangerous to me." Molly said, very matter-of-factly. "But I can't make you do anything." It is a damn shame, however, that when you, of all people, know what's coming for us all, can't move past little things and do what you need to do to bring a little more love into this world, Remus." She raised her eyebrows at him, and stood back up. Her wand twirled between her fingers and the chili heated back up.

"Finish, that, Remus, or at least try to." She straightened the chairs back to the table. "We don't need you getting sick on top of everything else."

He stared after her incredulously as she moved out of the room again, only this time he heard her take up another task in some other corner of the house. She was talking like she understood what he was going through, like she knew about the issues between him and Tonks.

He stabbed at the bowl of chili with his spoon, hating the peppers. Hating the silence that had settled into the kitchen. Hating that Molly knew exactly what she was talking about. Hating the night he knew that he would have to venture out into. Hating that he was going through it alone. Hating, hating, hating everything. Everything except her.

(A/N) Well, it's literally been years since I've worked on this. Damn. But now, I've come back to it. This one was hard. But I enjoyed writing it. I should be updating more frequently.


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